Your Sexuality

For Adults with Disabilities

  • Learning about your body, your identity, and your relationships is an important part of understanding your sexuality.
  • Everyone learns in their own way and at their own pace.
  • If you didn’t get a chance to learn about these topics at school or from your family, that’s okay. It’s never too late.
  • Gaining knowledge and skills now can help you feel more confident about yourself and your relationships.

What is Sexuality?

Sexuality means different things to different people. It includes:

  • Feeling comfortable with yourself and your relationships
  • Appreciating and taking care of your body
  • Having relationships that are fun and consensual (you give and get permission)
  • Preventing pregnancies, STIs, and abuse
  • Feeling good about your gender identity and expression

Watch What is Sexuality? to learn more.
You have the right to learn about sexuality and to make decisions about your body, feelings, and relationships. This includes understanding:

  • What brings you pleasure
  • What you don’t like or want
  • How to choose who to have relationships with
  • How to make decisions about intimacy and touch

This is called bodily autonomy—your right to make choices about your own body. It includes giving or taking away consent for things like touch, hugs, kisses, sex, or even medical care. Making your own choices builds self-esteem—how you feel about yourself.

What is Sex?

Sex can mean:

1. A label (male or female) assigned at birth based on genitals.

2. When part of someone’s body touches someone else’s genitals—such as vaginal, anal, oral, or hand sex.

Some people have sex. Some don’t. Both are okay.

Why do people say ‘making love’ or ‘doing it’?

These are common ways people talk about sex. Using body science terms helps everyone understand clearly what’s being talked about.

Sexuality Throughout Life

Your sexuality is part of who you are, no matter your age, body, or life experience. As you move through different stages of life, your thoughts, feelings, and relationships may change. Understanding what to expect can help you feel more confident and supported.

Puberty (starting around age 10–18):

Puberty is the time of life when a person’s body begins to grow and change from a child into an adult. These changes usually begin around age 10 and finish by the late teens—but everyone develops at their own pace.

During puberty, you might:

  • Get taller and grow hair under your arms and around your genitals (called pubic hair)
  • Notice your skin becoming oilier or getting pimples
  • Start your period (if you have a uterus and ovaries)
  • Start making sperm and have erections or wet dreams (if you have testicles)
  • Want more privacy or feel ready to be more independent from your family
  • Feel new emotions or stronger feelings toward other people

Tip

Even if you’re already an adult, you might still be learning about what happened during puberty—and that’s okay. Everyone deserves the chance to understand their body, their feelings, and how they’ve grown. Visit the Puberty and Self-Care section to learn more.

Good to know

Once someone starts their period or begins making sperm, or become pregnant. Learning about birth control can help prevent pregnancy.

Adulthood:

Adulthood is a time when many people keep learning about themselves and exploring their bodies, feelings, and relationships.

In this stage, you might:

  • Build close friendships, romantic relationships, or intimate partnerships
  • Explore what feels good and pleasurable for your body
  • Learn how to talk about your needs and wants
  • Decide whether you want to date, have sex, or start a long-term relationship or marriage
  • Think about parenting and if it’s right for you

You are the expert on your life

Not everyone wants to date, get married, or have sex—and that’s totally okay. What’s important is that your choices feel right for you.

Good to know

Even if you’re not having sex, it’s still important to take care of your sexual health. That means learning about STI prevention, communicating clearly with partners, and having regular health check-ups.

Mid-life and Older Age (50+):

Sexuality continues to be a part of your life as you grow older. Your body, relationships, and interests may change—but your right to care, connection, and pleasure stays the same.

During this stage, you may:

  • Keep learning about your sexuality and what feels good for your body
  • Explore emotional closeness, friendship, dating, or intimacy
  • Notice changes in your body and how it responds to touch or sexual activity
  • Go through menopause (if you have a uterus and ovaries), which means you no longer get periods and can no longer become pregnant

You might be:

  • Single, dating, or in a long-term relationship
  • A parent, a grandparent, or not a parent at all
  • Focused on caring for others, enjoying hobbies, or learning more about yourself

You are the expert on your life

Not everyone wants to date, get married, or have sex—and that’s totally okay. What’s important is that your choices feel right for you.
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Getting Sexual Health Care

Taking care of your sexual health is an important part of caring for your whole body and mind—even if you’re not having sex. Just like going to the dentist for your teeth, it’s important to check in about your sexual health from time to time.

You Have the Right To:

  • Know what’s happening with your body. Your doctor or nurse should explain what they are doing in a clear, respectful way before they touch your body or perform any test. You can always ask questions if something isn’t clear.
  • Make your own health decisions. It’s your body, and that means you get to say yes or no to care, treatment, or testing. No one else should make these decisions for you.
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What if the doctor finds a problem?

If a test shows something isn’t right, your doctor will talk with you about the next steps. Most health problems can be treated, especially when found early. You are not alone—your health care provider is there to help.

What Happens at a Sexual Health Check-Up?

Here’s what a visit to a sexual health clinic or doctor’s office might include. Not everyone will need all of these, but knowing ahead of time can help you feel more prepared and comfortable. Your healthcare provider might check:

Testicles (for people with testicles):

The doctor may gently feel your testicles to check for lumps or changes that could be a sign of cancer.

Cervix (for people with a cervix):

The doctor gently collects cells from inside the vagina to check for early signs of cervical cancer.

Breasts:

The doctor may feel your chest to check for lumps, or you might get a mammogram (a special picture taken of the inside of your breasts) to look for signs of breast cancer.

Prostate (for people with a prostate):

The doctor may check your prostate by putting a gloved finger into your rectum (bum) or doing a blood test.

STI Testing (if you’ve had sex):

This may include a pee (urine) test, a blood test, or the doctor looking at your genitals. These tests check for infections that can be passed through sexual contact.

What Are STIs?

STIs stands for Sexually Transmitted Infections. These are sicknesses that can be passed from one person to another during sexual activity.

This can happen when:

  • One person’s body touches another person’s genitals (penis, vulva, vagina, or anus)
  • Body fluids like semen or vaginal fluid are shared

Important Things to Know About STIs:

Most STIs can be cured.
Even if they can’t be cured, they can still be treated to keep you healthy.

Some STIs have no symptoms.
That means you might not feel sick or notice anything—but you could still have an infection.

Other STIs do have symptoms, like:

  • Itching or rash
  • Pain when peeing or during sex
  • Unusual discharge or smell
  • Sores or lumps on your genitals

The only way to know for sure is to get tested. You can’t tell by just how your body feels.

STI testing is:

  • Free (no cost)
  • Private (just between you and the healthcare provider)

You can go to a:

  • Family doctor
  • Walk-in clinic
  • Sexual health or STI clinic

  • Use condoms or dental dams when having sex
  • Get tested regularly—even if you feel fine
  • Get vaccinated for HPV and Hepatitis B
  • Talk openly with your partners about testing and safer sex

What Would You Do?

Let’s think about Mica and Alex.

Mica and Alex have been dating for six months.
They’ve done lots of fun things together, like:

  • Going to the movies
  • Meeting each other’s friends
  • Joining a board game club at a local café

They care about each other and are learning how to share their feelings.
They’ve started kissing and cuddling, and they both enjoy it.
Now, they’re thinking about having sex for the first time.

But they also have questions. They feel:

  • Excited
  • Nervous
  • Unsure about what’s safe
  • Unsure about what’s right for them

Neither Mica nor Alex learned much about relationships or sex at school. Now they want to learn more so they can make choices that are right for them.

Who Can Mica and Alex Talk To?

Talking helps! Here are people they can talk with:

  • Each other – to share what they want and how they feel
  • A sexual health clinic – for answers about sex and staying safe
  • A trusted friend or family member – if they feel comfortable
  • A support group – especially if they want to talk about how disability can affect dating, sex, and relationships

Where Can They Find Good Information?

Not all information on the internet is true.
Here are places where Mica and Alex can find safe, up-to-date information:

  • A sexual health clinic or doctor’s office
  • A walk-in clinic
  • Websites from:
    • Health agencies (like public health organizations)
    • Universities
    • Trusted news groups

Everyone deserves answers.

It’s okay to ask questions. It’s okay to feel unsure. Learning together helps Mica and Alex feel more confident and ready to make choices that are right for both of them.

Reproduction, Pregnancy, and Options

Many people wrongly believe people with disabilities can’t get pregnant or be parents.

Everyone has the right to:

  • Learn about pregnancy and birth
  • Choose whether or not to become a parent
  • Make choices that are right for them
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Take the Quiz:

Myth or Fact?

Understanding how pregnancy works—and busting common myths—can help you make informed choices about your body and relationships.
Let’s look at some common beliefs and find out what’s true and what’s not:

FACT

Once someone begins releasing eggs (after starting puberty), pregnancy can happen if sperm from a penis gets near the vulva or vagina—even if it’s not during intercourse.

MYTH

Most people with disabilities can become pregnant or get someone else pregnant. Disabilities like Down syndrome, cerebral palsy, or spina bifida do not usually affect fertility. Infertility can happen to anyone, with or without a disability.

MYTH

Pregnancy can happen any time sperm gets close to the vulva or vagina. It doesn’t have to be deep inside.

MYTH

This is an example of ableism—a harmful belief that people with disabilities can’t make good choices or care for others. Many disabled people get pregnant and parent. Everyone deserves the chance to decide if parenting is right for them.

FACT

Yes! There are programs, support groups, and health care services that help people through pregnancy and parenting—no one has to do it alone.

MYTH

Just because pregnancy hasn’t happened yet doesn’t mean it won’t. The only way to know if someone is infertile is to talk to a health care provider and get special tests.

FACT

Birth control (like the pill, patch, IUD, implant, or condoms) can help prevent pregnancy. Some methods can be used right away, some last longer, and some need a prescription. A healthcare provider can help you choose what works best for your body and needs.

FACT

Talking to a health care provider can help you get ready for a healthy pregnancy. They can check for any health concerns, explain your options, and answer your questions—so you feel confident and supported.

Pregnancy Options

If you think you might be pregnant:

1. You can take a pregnancy test at home or at a clinic. They show if your body is making a hormone that only appears during pregnancy.

2. If the test is positive, that means you are pregnant.

3. You then have three choices, and you get to decide what’s right for you.

Option 1: Continue the Pregnancy and Choose to Parent

Some people decide to parent.

There are supports available to help with:

  • Taking care of the baby’s needs
  • Learning how to parent
  • Managing the changes that come with having a child

You can get support from:

  • Family or friends
  • Parenting support groups
  • Community programs and health care providers

Option 2: Continue the Pregnancy and Choose Adoption

Some people decide to place the baby with another family. This is called adoption.

In adoption:

  • You carry the pregnancy to birth
  • Another family legally takes on parenting
  • You can sometimes choose the adoptive family and whether you want to stay in contact with the child

In Canada, each province has its own adoption laws and rules. A social worker or adoption agency can explain how it works and help you through the process.

Option 3: End the Pregnancy by Choosing Abortion

Abortion is a safe medical procedure that ends a pregnancy.

In Canada:

  • Abortion is legal and safe
  • You do not need anyone’s permission—not your partner, parents, or caregivers
  • There is no age limit for getting an abortion
  • The choice is entirely yours

Who Decides What to Do?

Only you—the person who is pregnant—can decide what to do.

You might want to talk to people you trust, but the final decision is your right to make.
Some people or groups have strong opinions about pregnancy and abortion. That’s called bias. A healthcare provider at a sexual and reproductive health clinic can give you non-judgmental and unbiased support to help you understand your options.

Birth Control

Birth control is anything people to do stop a pregnancy. Here’s what you need to know:

  • There are many types of birth control including pills, patch, ring, IUD and implant.
  • Some need a prescription, others don’t
  • Some start working right away, others take a few days (talk to your doctor about instructions to make sure they work when you think they will)
  • Condoms protect against both pregnancy and STIs
  • Emergency contraception is available if no birth control was used

Good to know

Not everyone can use some types of birth control because of individual health conditions or disability. For example:

  • Latex allergies and sensitivities are common in people diagnosed with spina bifida. Condoms are often made from latex, but non-latex condoms are widely available. Non-latex condoms are safe for people with latex allergies.
  • Using condoms can be difficult for anyone who finds it difficult to use their hands.
  • Many seizure medications reduce how well the birth control pill works.
  • Some types of birth control aren’t safe for people who get migraines.

The good news? There’s a method for everyone—talk to a health care provider to find the right one for you.

More Resources: Physically Disabled Youth Sexual Health Info Sheets – SIECCAN

You Deserve to Know. You Deserve to Choose.

Your sexuality is a natural, healthy part of who you are.

Whether you’re just starting to learn or have questions you’ve had for years, this is a safe place to explore, grow, and make decisions that feel right for you.
Remember:

  • You have the right to learn about your body, relationships, and health
  • You have the right to make your own choices about sex, dating, and parenting
  • You have the right to access care that respects your body and your voice

No matter your age, experience, or ability—you are not alone. It’s not too late.

Explore More Topics

Want to learn about birth control, consent, relationships, or pleasure? Visit our other tassc.ca pages.

Talk to Someone You Trust

If you have questions, you can reach out to a sexual health clinic, your doctor, a support group, or someone in your life you feel safe with.

Visit a Health Care Provider

Health care providers are there to help you—not judge you. You can ask them anything at any time.

Your Body. Your Choices. Your Sexuality.

This is your journey. Take it at your own pace. And remember—you’re exactly where you need to be.