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A: Thank you for your question. Pregnancy is a risk anytime a penis or semen might have had direct contact with someone’s vaginal area. Based on what you have written, this may not be the case for you, but missed periods can be the sign of a problem. Anytime someone misses their period, it’s a good idea to talk with a health care provider. You can call your family doctor, a walk in clinic, 811 to talk to a nurse or go to ahs.ca/srh to find a sexual and reproductive health clinic near you.

You said that your boyfriend gets angry when you talk to him about this. In healthy relationships, people feel safe to talk to their partners about their concerns.
You can learn more about healthy relationships at: https://myhealth.alberta.ca/Alberta/Pages/Relationships-what-is-healthy-and-what-is-not.aspx
If you are in an unhealthy relationship, you can find supports at https://www.alberta.ca/family-violence-find-supports.aspx

A: Everyone has different values, or different ideas of what is good or bad, when it comes to sex and relationships. Some people think that sex should happen only in long term, committed relationships; some people think that sex can be part of building relationships and some people think that it’s ok to have sex-only relationships. If you’re figuring out your own sexual values, it can be helpful to learn more about your family, faith and cultural values by talking to family members, cultural and faith leaders and peers. No matter what your values, a healthy relationship is based on clear communication, setting and respecting boundaries and mutual respect, care and safety. This is true for all relationships, including sex-only relationships.

A: Unhealthy or abusive relationships can cause serious harm to a pregnancy and the baby. Anytime someone is in an unhealthy or abusive relationship, it’s important to get supports to either help the relationship get better or to safely end the relationship.

If someone is in immediate danger, call 911
For 24/7 anonymous help, call 310-1818

For more information on family violence or dating violence support, go to https://www.alberta.ca/family-violence-find-supports.aspx

A: As soon as someone thinks they’re pregnant, it’s important to talk to a health care provider like a family doctor or an AHS Sexual & Reproductive Health clinic nurse  about options, resources and how to stay healthy no matter what choice is made. A pregnant person has 3 options: parenting, placing a baby for adoption and abortion. Some non-profit pregnancy support/care centres have anti-abortion values, so they might best be accessed only if someone has decided they will stay pregnant.

Find an AHS Sexual & Reproductive Health clinic at ahs.ca/srh

A: Pre-cum is another name for pre-ejaculatory fluid. This is a liquid that is at the tip of the penis before semen is released. It’s there anytime the penis is hard. There is live sperm in pre-ejaculatory fluid. It can also have germs, like STIs, in it. Washing and drying hands would wash away the pre-ejaculatory fluid and would kill the sperm.

A: We’re sorry you are feeling stressed. Pregnancy can only happen when sperm comes into direct contact with the vagina. If ejaculation happens with clothes on, there is no direct contact between the sperm and the vaginal area. This would not be considered a risk for pregnancy. If someone had their period following the sexual activity in question, this would be another sign that pregnancy is not a concern at this time. Different medications and illness can sometimes cause irregular periods. There is a chance the delayed period is related to the treatments. If you continue to have concerns please call 811 to get more direction.

A: STI, or Sexually Transmitted Infections, are sicknesses spread through sexual contact with another person’s genital area, semen or vaginal fluid. Oral sex is a high risk activity for many STI, including syphilis, Chlamydia, HPV and herpes. It’s a lower risk activity for HIV and Hep C.

A: It’s common to have one person who wants to have sex and the other person doesn’t. When this happens in healthy situations, both people to say what they want and don’t want, the limit’s respected and the other person accepts they won’t get what they want. It’s not ok to keep pressuring, pestering, bullying, manipulating or coercing someone to have sex when they don’t want to. It’s sexual assault to continue a sexual activity someone doesn’t want. If any of that happens, talk with a trusted adult.

A: Pregnancies can happen when sperm comes in DIRECT contact with the vaginal area. Sperm in pre-cum (pre-ejaculatory fluid) does not travel through clothing and cause pregnancy. If you are still worried about pregnancy, or are having any symptoms, call your family doctor or 811.

A: Some people can feel pain and discomfort during menstruation (their period). They have bad cramps, heavy bleeding (having to change a pad or tampon every hour or 2), headaches or feel sick to their stomach. Because really bad periods can be a sign of a problem, it can be a good idea to talk with a healthcare provider. Doctors hear about periods all the time so don’t feel embarrassed.
Make sure you get good rest, eat healthy food, drink enough water and exercise (even though you may not feel like moving lots, this can help). Don’t feel that you are alone. Talking with an adult you trust and/or a healthcare provider will help you come up with ways to make your periods better.

A: In Canada, it’s against the law to share a sexual picture of someone without their consent (permission). This is a sign of an unhealthy relationship and is bullying. It’s a good idea to talk to a trusted adult or contact the police.

A: It’s not necessary to buy special washes to smell good. The genitals have their own smell which is normal to each person. It’s healthy to clean the outside of the genitals (the vulva) with water and mild products but the inside does the work for you. The vagina makes its own discharge to keep it healthy and in balance. This fluid gets rid of any unhealthy bacteria. So no need to use special washes.
If you smell or see something that is different for you it’s important to speak with a healthcare provider.

A: Came is slang term for orgasm. Cream pie is slang term for sperm ejaculated during sex without using a condom. Anytime a penis or semen come in contact with the vaginal-anal area, there is a risk for pregnancy. If someone might be pregnant, it is important they see a health care provider right away so they can be as healthy as possible.

People cannot consent to sex when they are sleeping. Sex without consent is sexual assault. That means that if one person is awake enough to start sex, they need to make sure the other person is also awake and able to consent before any sexual contact.

Many people orgasm during sex – this is often called having a wet dream. But, it’s not typicl for healthy people to move for sex during sleep. If you think you might be having sex while you are sleeping, talk to a doctor right away because it can be the sign of a health problem.

A: It is unclear why your friend is experiencing cramps and nausea. Some people have cramps and nausea while they have their period. Pregnancy can only happen when sperm comes into direct contact with the vagina. If ejaculation happens with clothes on, there is no direct contact between the sperm and the vaginal area. This would not be considered a risk for pregnancy.
If anyone is taking part in sexual activity where semen could get close to the vulva and vagina it is a good idea to use protection. This could be a condom or another type of birth control. That person may then feel that they are able to take control of their reproduction. It may be important to talk to a healthcare provider about choices. For more information about birth control including how pregnancy happens and how to get birth control, see https://tascc.ca/supporting-high-risk-youth/birth-control/

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